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ACIX JN Staff Tourney - The Story

Tourney Results | The Story
Top Guessers | AC IX Coverage

It was a beautiful day at Jelly Estates. The sun was shining bright, and a light breeze ruffled the leaves of the trees. Overhead, a cloud passed by, looking vaguely like a Plumpy eating bacon. It would have been absolutely perfect, were it not for the loudly arguing staffers right outside the Uni paddock.

Dave had arranged for the entirety of the Jellyneo Staff to come to the Jelly Estates for a staff retreat, hoping to encourage a little staff bonding. In order to keep them all focused, he'd made sure that the WiFi was crappy and that the estate was in a cell dead zone.

Of course, this backfired.

The voices were growing even louder now, and Dave found he could no longer reasonably ignore them. With a put-upon sigh, he got up from his (extremely comfortable) lawn chair, and made his way over to the group. Hopefully this would be solved quickly.

As he approached, however, Herdy noticed him, and called out loudly:

"Dave! You need to turn the WiFi back on! I need to show these peons that the Haunted Woods team is well on its way to winning the Altador Cup!"

Hisses and muttered arguments quickly followed this bold declaration. With dawning horror, Dave realized that every staffer in the arguing group was wearing the uniform of a different Altador Cup team. No matter what the results of the cup were, someone was going to be upset.

Kayla glared from her spot by the fence, where she was stroking the muzzle of a docile Darigan Uni:

"Don't be silly, Herdy. Everyone knows that DC will be taking the Cup this year. It's their year to get it!"

The Uni huffed in agreement.

Dave could tell this was getting out of hand, so he reached for his trusty admin whistle around his neck, and blew into it as fiercely as he could. The harsh shriek of the whistle immediately caused all the arguing staffers to drop what they were saying and rush to cover their ears.

It had also caught the attention of the staffers not arguing, as they hastened over from the pool to see what was happening. Once Dave was satisfied all the staff were paying proper attention, he dropped the whistle and spoke:

"If you're so desperate to prove your team is better, you'll either have to wait until after the retreat, or have your own friendly competition."

He glanced around and noticed the staffers were beginning to whisper in excitement:

"I'd been hoping we could all play a few relaxing games of Uni Polocrosse this week... but what about a few games of Yooyuball, instead?"
"We've all got our own Yooyuball slings! We can all claim a Uni, and there are a bunch of Yooyus that Jelly Estates keeps in the petpet barns."

The staffers were all nodding in excitement, and several raced to claim one of the Unis in the paddock. Herdy and Kayla had quickly claimed the Unis for their respective teams, but they were hardly the only staffers ready to participate.

noileh took a flying leap to land astride the Wraith Uni, fierce in her Faerieland gear.

"I may not have a tutu, but I've got pink bubblegum... for Faerieland!"

Mac's Meridellian colours seemed to please the Royal Uni she approached, as it bowed back to her immediately.

"Let's make King Skarl proud! For Meridell!"

Ummy approached the Golden Uni, deeming it splendid enough for Brightvale, as Emily claimed the Eventide Uni for Altador.

"Everyone always thinks that Brightvale is full of brains and no brawn. But I'm here to prove them wrong!"
"No one knows Yooyuball better than a team representing the birth place of the sport!"

Kumar, snarky as ever, was quick to climb astride the Pirate Uni, a clear match for Krawk Island.

"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's... the only one who can win a game of Yooyuball!"

The Split Uni galloped up to Skumby before she could turn around, apparently attracted to the Kreludan colours.

"Kreludor's in it to win it! That trophy will look great floating in our low-G training center!"

Leaf had already been leaning against the Desert Uni, and he was quick to ensure that no one else could sneak it away.

"If any team is going to win it twice, it's going to be Lost Desert!"

The Magma Uni might have gotten a wide berth from other humans, but living in Moltara had taught Aurora well--she stroked its nose without a hint of a burn.

"I'm in it for all my fellow Moltarans! We need a win this year!"

There was a Maraquan Uni in the nearby lake, but Rylon quickly determined it would be ill suited for this competition. Instead, he confidently walked up to the Maractite Uni, sure that they would do their water world proud.

"Just hold on a tick, got a few more sips of tea here, and then we can get on with it..."

Former pirate Jen had found her loyalty switching to Mystery Island, and easily chose the Island Uni to match.

"This year it's Mystery Island's turn to take the Cup... and my year for the Sceptre!"

Skylar was clearly thinking in a similar vein, claiming the Tyrannian Uni for Tyrannia.

"Ugga-ugg ugga ugg ugg ugggggg!! Err, I mean, Tyrannia for the Cup!"

Chesu thought he'd look quite splendid teamed up with the Spotted Uni nearby.

"I'll be using my ninja-like reflexes to block every Yooyu that comes even remotely close to Shenkuu's goal!"

Perry knew he wanted the Christmas Uni for Terror Mountain. He was careful to do a quick spot check and remove any stray pieces of thorny holly leaves before he hopped up into the saddle.

"Prepare to be frozen... 'for your protection.'"

Nick, being the loyal team Virtupets player he is, made for the closest Robot Uni.

"Since my last tourney, I've been tweaking my recipe for peanut oil that can be used with robots to enhance their performance. Now the Jelly Sceptre is mine!"

Rosie, looking fierce but exhausted, approached the somewhat confused Zombie Uni, and draped a Roo Island flag across its back.

"Braaaaaaiiinnns. Roooobraiiinns."

Sweep hadn't seemed too competitive, but realizing there was an uneven number of participants, she hastened next to the Water Uni.

"I don't understand why KL is such an unpopular team... Kikos are the same shape as Yooyus, so who better to understand the physics of Yooyuball?"

The remaining staffers watched all this happening with perplexed faces.

"Dave, why on Neopia are you having them duke it out on Unis? Couldn't they do it without them?"
"They could... but this way they can't just beat each other up - they'll need to think about riding around on those Neopets! Also, it's way funnier to watch."

(The Battlepedia crew, meanwhile, sat around munching popcorn.)