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Wish You Were Here
Published: October 2, 2011

Link: I daresay this whole "pen pal" thing deserves a little backstory, wouldn't you agree, Torratz?

Torratz: I do indeed!

Link: We'll start from the very beginning then! CUE THE FLASHBACK!

One day, Link was sitting by himself with a piece of paper and a pencil. He could not decide what to write, or to who either. Link had grown bored of sending emails, instant messages, and wall posts, and decided that it was high time he got a pen pal--someone who would enjoy writing to him almost as much as he would enjoy writing to them! In a stroke of brilliance, he came up with the best person to write to: a certain Torratz. His first letter went something like this...

Dear Torratz,
Hello there! I wanted a pen pal and I thought you would be the best person to talk to! Truth be told, I have never had a pen pal so I really do not know what is the best stuff to put down here. I think I might ramble, as rambling is fun; the only problem is that I have nothing to ramble about. So instead, I will await your reply and we will see where we go from there!

Wish You Were Here

*Hands you a Pink Poogle Toy as an apology if this is explained somewhere my poking didn't uncover* Is there a reason emoticons don't show up for lurkers on the JN Forums? I started lurking there recently since the forum I usually read to catch things on Neopets I might've missed had crashed temporarily. It just seems... colder reading instead of seeing some yellow head bobbing with its mouth open, somehow, and makes me wonder why it came out that way (and, if Internet Explorer 8 is to blame, what I can do about it). Do you know? ~ Ron Nohn
Torratz: Images are disabled on JNF for guests and bots, presumably for security reasons. Why not sign up and chat? :D

Link: There are many things happening over on the forums, such as Graphic Battles where members (and staffers) compete to make the best graphic banners, or even Ask-A-Staff-Member, where members find out that we are in fact not robots bent on serving Dr. Frank Sloth. Illy hosts the Graphic Battles, while I do the AASMs!

Torratz: Also ew, Pink Poogle Toy. :(

Super Blue Poogle Toy
In Link's opinion, Super Blue Poogle Toys are where it's at!

Hi hard-worker-when-everyone-is-looking-but-taking-a-nap-otherwise friend. My question concerns the Lenny Conundrum. I wait every week for the next enigma and await the answer for the one before. Most of the time, TNT doesn't explain how to get to the solution. Would it be possible for you to try to add the solution in the Lenny Conundrum guide? Thank you for the attention and grab a cookie. *hands a handful of cookies* ~ giga_mika
Torratz: Oi Mika, quit napping and go back to work. :P Unfortunately, Lenny Conundrum solutions are not something we're planning to add to our guides (largely because half the time we're not sure how TNT got the solution either - Round #421 for example caused a bit of controversy because they rounded up, even though the exact answer and semantics indicated to round down).

Dear Link,
Replying back is very much in vogue at the moment - I briefly considered 'liking' your letter instead but realised that as your letter is a physical entity and not a virtual one, such an action would be difficult to transmit across boundaries of time, space and lack of Facebook integration within the JN editorial. Dave really should get cracking with those 'Like' buttons we've been pestering him for.
Help yourself to one of the cookies that Mika has so generously prepared for us. This one's jumbleberry flavoured!

Wish you were here,

I was roaming around Neopia one hot summer afternoon, and I came across a pet who had a petpet. That doesn't seem too odd, right? But the petpet seemed to be a TCG card! How is this possible? It didn't say anything like being zapped by the petpet lab ray. I'm so confused. ~ 1_doglefox
Link: There was a glitch a long time ago that allowed you to attach non-petpets to your pet, so it could be related to that.

Dear Torratz,
Have you been to the ball pit lately? I hear that it has some new features like a "Mac and Cheese" machine and a dung catapult that launches you into the pit as you go "WWHHHEEE!!" Perhaps I only dreamed of these amazing features being added, who knows. Maybe I should submit some forms of some sort so we can have them, because we need more things to goof off relax with.

Wish you were here,

In a previous JN editorial, it was asked what the most expensive petpet was, and the answer was found looking at the petpets in the Item Database arranged by price. What I want to point out is that some petpets are so expensive, they have no price on record in your Item DB. What about the Marafin, or the Spoppy III? Trades or auctions with those are nearly never seen, but I'm almost positive they are worth more than the Smiley. ~ anonymous
Torratz: Ah, but those are literally 'priceless' petpets, whose worth cannot be measured in mere Neopoints. ;)

Link: Those petpets are so rare that no one wants to sell them, and if they do, not even Ian could afford them!

I have two questions concerning side accounts, which I haven't seen answered anywhere on Neopets, Jellyneo, or the rest of the Interweb for that matter. Firstly, are you allowed to send the Neopoints and newbie pack you get when you sign up to your main account? And secondly, are you allowed to create a side account after referring yourself to Neopets using the referral program (so you've basically referred your side account)? If you answer this, thanks in advance! ~ x_stormflower_x
Torratz: I seem to remember referring yourself being frowned upon but I don't think they're gonna freeze you for it (unless you go overboard and break the account limit rule), and sending newbie pack things to your main is totes legit.

Link: Yeah! Totes!

Hello Jellyneo! I hope you had a great birthday. :D On to my question: I'd like to know the purpose of a guild shop. I see people set them up all the time, but I wanted to know what sort of things you can and cannot do with them. ~ animelover00004
Link: Did you know that Torratz actually wrote the guide on guilds? You can check it out here!

They are to be used only for the guild, nothing more, though what you can do with the funds is extremely limited. You cannot use funds to buy prizes for contests/raffles, but you can use the Neopoints to buy a guild advertisement on the Notice Board.

I drew a picture of one of my pets. Am I allowed to edit the userlookup code to place that picture over the original, or is that against the rules? ~ silly51366507
Torratz: From Neopian Times Editorial 437: "It is okay to cover your Neopets with your own art if you're so inclined, as long as the correct species / colour is depicted. However you may not cover your Neopets up with a different species / colour, a different image from our site, or an unconverted image of that Neopet. It has to be clear to anyone visiting what kind of Neopets you have."

Do not cover up your pet's stats, though.

Dear Link,
You wouldn't believe how busy I've been the last couple of days. So many bugs to fix and so much content to take care of! I don't know how I'm going to get it all done. Where's my TARDIS when I need it? Anyhow, I hope image tagging isn't as stressful. Dave won't let me have double sodas. :(

Wish you were here,

How can I make more Neopoints? I relentlessly try to make more, but it's no use... Any advice? ~ Greta_Girl_26
Link: One of my minion pal-i-os, Aurora, coincidentally runs the 50k-a-day guide, where it gives the games that help you get, well, 50k in just one day. Also try doing more dailies--those can give out Neopoints and even items for you to sell in your shop! Most importantly though is to never give up! I, for example, am still striving for that distant beauty known as the Draik Egg.


Dear Torratz,
I know how you feel. I have been tagging up a storm lately trying to make up for lost time. In the end I really do not mind too much, as tagging tends to relax me. At least I do not have to do any math when I tag, or I would never be able to get anything done! You are lucky that you are even able to have some soda. Dave won't let me near the machine anymore. :(

Wish you were here,

How do you take those lines off your Neoboard Signature? The ones that are like: ------------------ ? My signature is slightly less cool because I don't know how to take it off. I'm HTML challenged, so please help! ~ brownielauren900
Torratz: At the end of the NeoHTML input bar, insert a left-facing square bracket, like so: [

At the beginning of the NeoSignature input bar, insert a right-facing square bracket, like so: ]

Together these will eradicate the nasty dashed signature bar!

I've been working on a storyline for my pirates and I was thinking that it would make an excellent comic. If I were to submit a comic arc, would I get one trophy or several? ~ sylvannia
Torratz: You will receive a trophy for every issue your comic appears in - so if your comic arc is five issues long, you will receive five trophies! :D

Dear Link,
(1) Today I decided to write you a letter on post-it notes. I hope you can still read my (2) handwriting - noileh says I'd make a great lawyer with my scrawl! I'm happy to (3) leave that to Jen and Lollie though. Post-it notes are the greatest (4) evil inventions! Oh dear, I hope none of these post-its fall out of the envelope...

Wish you were here,

Hi TJNT! I'm a New Zealander - much to the delight of my Neofriends who aren't from there. So the question I want to ask is: do you know if Neocash cards are still available in NZ? Because I heard on the Neoboards awhile back that EB Games (the store that's supposed to stock it) doesn't stock it anymore. Is this fact or rumour? Cheers. P.S. Hi to all the NZ staff on TJNT! *waves hysterically* ~ cal_chetty
Link: One of our resident Kiwis, *cough* Kumar *cough* has told us that yes, NC cards are still available in New Zealand!

Torratz: *mutters something about New Zealand being rather over-represented in JN staff*

Dear Torratz,
I love post-its! Story time! Whenever I need to remember something important, I get two sticky notes to remind myself about it, then I stuff them in my pockets. On one sticky note I write down what I need to remember, and on the other I write down "Look in the other pocket." That way, I have a reminder of a reminder that is reminding me to remember something. Fun times!

Wish you were here,

I would like to hear more about the work in the Content Department from Torratz. ~ mundim
Torratz: *sobs hysterically in a corner* THE CONTENT BEAST IS AFTER ME.

...Ahem. Yes. Content. Any of the myriad of staffers we've had through the revolving purple door of contenthood will tell you that it's a demanding but ultimately rewarding job. Not only does it require an in-depth understanding of Neopian games and site features, it also calls for excellent writing ability and a certain flair for clear, concise explanation. Content writing, it must be said, is also something of a time-drain - decent guides cannot be whipped up in half an hour!

While I applied for content in the first place because, well, it was the only job open at the time, I also really wanted to help my fellow Neopians get the most out of the site. As contenters, we're justifiably proud of the material we write; finding out that the JN Tangor's Workshop guide - a guide I wrote within a month of joining staff and which took considerable time and effort - was the top-ranked Google result for 'tangor's workshop' was easily one of the highlights of my contenting career. :)

If content writing sounds like the job for you, I strongly encourage you to apply - we love seeing new faces! :D

Lord Kass Quill
Why would you want to work anywhere else? Purple is clearly the best colour.

Hi, Link and Torratz! Two of my favourite JN staffers at once, yay! Anyway, Bogshot is perhaps my most favourite of all the little villages introduced in the Neopets: Darkest Faerie game, but it seems that it's been ignored by Neopets ever since. I guess the Swamp Gas colour might be a nod to it, but... it would be nice to see more about it, or have it made into a mini-world! Speaking of which... what exactly is the difference between a normal Neopian world and a mini-world? I don't think TNT's ever said, but are there major distinguishing characteristics between the two? Thanks! ~ niddyz
Torratz: Niddyz! :D The line between normal worlds and mini-worlds is more of a continuum than a line - Darigan Citadel, for example, isn't on the main Neopian map and yet has a considerable backstory and an Altador Cup team. Are the three constituent maps of Terror Mountain each considered mini-worlds in their own right? Are Neovia and Geraptiku technically part of Haunted Woods and Mystery Island, respectively? It's enough to make you rip up a postcard and send a letter instead. :(

From what I can tell, mini-worlds generally have fewer attractions, are not featured on the main map, and often have a distinctive character all their own.

P.S. Kreludor for the Cup! *waves around bucket of fried chicken*

Why doesn't the Dr. Sloth Image Emporium list SWF images? Those are images from, so how come they don't show up in searches? ~ nafisa_s_rasul
Torratz: For starters, .swf (Flash) files aren't images, and in any case most of them are only viewable if you're logged in (which means we can't add them to the image database). There are a myriad of technical reasons which Our Fearless Leader outlined in an Emporium newspost. It's a rather common request, but sadly it's not technically feasible for us to include .swf files.

This isn't a question, so no doubt you're going to feed me to the Content Beast for this, but I thought last week's Treasure Keepers editorial idea was awesome, especially all the photographs! How did you make all of those? Did you really make all the tiles just for the editorial? ~ swisscat
Torratz: Yeahhh~

Link: Am I the only one scared of what the "yeahhh~" is for? Are you really going to feed them to the Content Beast?

The always perfect crazy Illy created the tiles and cards, and even took the photographs (quite the photographer isn't she?).

Howdy there JN! So I was working on a character for one of my Neopets, who happens to be from the future. Where he's from, there is a war going on in Neopia. I was wondering if the concept of war would be appropriate for Neo? I would think so, as there have been wars in plots/events, but I just wanted to make sure. I wouldn't go into any detail or have gruesome descriptions and whatnot, just a mention that there's a war going on. Thank you! :D ~ anonymous
Link: This is okay! Just as you said, try not to make it gruesome. Now, let loose those creative juices!

Tuskaninny writing a letter
Yes! Yes! I like where this is going!

I've entered some of my Neopets into the Customisation Spotlight a few times now. I didn't win, like I expected, but I did expect to receive some kind of result, like an average score. Am I overlooking something or is there really no feedback if you're not one of the six winners? I was hoping for something like the Previous Weeks Votes page at the Beauty Contest where you can see how well you did compared to others. Thanks! ~ sailorrisingstar
Torratz: The Customisation Spotlight is a bad penfriend and doesn't reply back. :(

Link: It should take notes on how great pen pals we are. :D

Dear Link,
This editorial is running seriously late. I don't know why you keep relying on the Neopian Postal Service, they never deliver anything on time. Did you know I ordered some decorative jugs from Qasala last week and they were smashed to pieces by the time they arrived? I think they look better taped and glued together, frankly, but I suspect Kata would disagree. The handle goes on the bottom, right...? Anyhow, I can't wait to get out of this office and relax. How does a picnic sound?

Wish you were here,

Hi Link and Torratz! One, how likely is it that I'll get a paint brush from Key Quest? I have been playing Key Quest for a long time but I never got one. My sister got five and she's been playing for under a year. Two, does the Grim Faerie Statue scare you? Just don't blink. ~ jisue_7fish
Link: For starters, you can only get a paint brush with a gold key. Other than that, it just depends on luck, for it is rather rare for them to appear. Your sister just seems to be rather lucky.
Oh gosh, it moved!

Grim Faerie Statue
Don't look away.
Don't turn your back.
Don't blink.

Dear Torratz,
A picnic would sound absolutely fantastic.

Wish you were here,

Check out The Art of Philately
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