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Dr. Sloth's Edition of Doom
Published: October 2, 2007

Welcome to my editorial, foolish Neopian! I've taken it upon myself to answer some of your trivial questions this week. What the JN staff doesn't know is that my ulterior motive is quite deceitful indeed! Mwahahahahaha!

How did you get teh funds to support you army? ~ Lilraveshaw
My associates and I take donations from unsuspecting Neopians. Mwahahahaha!

What is your species? do you even have one? ~ meerca11114
I do not need to have a species! Also, I'd like to take this time to note that anyone who dares to call me a chicken will perish under my death ray!

If neopets couldn't be turned into mutants or robots, what color would you have them be and why? ~ angel_30382
If they could be neither Mutant nor Robots, I would not have them at all.

However do you pwn so much, thy triumphant master? Force TNT to make you a plot, NOW, I'm plotless and going insane! ~ Dodobutt222
My PWNing FactorTM is determined by popular vote. My vote is always the most popular, so I always come through triumphant! Mwahahahaha!

And I do agree. Perhaps TNT could be convinced after I show them the mechanics of my latest death ray.

Are you a meepit in disguise? ~ star8509
Who are you to pose a stupid question!? ZZZZZZAAAAAPPPPP!

There's been a rumor going around in the Neopian Times. Do you really have a collection of usukis? ~ Narfsensical
Of course not, you foolish Neopian. I only collect Grundukis, the latest world-domination-in-a-box toy from Virtupets, Inc.

What does "^_^" mean? I've always thought a cat, but in the context of when people use them, it doesn't make sense. Meow! ~ juju414
Another stupid question! There's a whole world out there for you to search to find the answer to it! Do you think I'd just give you the answer after laboriously researching the meaning behind such an emoticon!?

It's a smiling face.

Do you think that there should be a Dr. Sloth cam? all of your fans/minions would llike to see what dr. Sloth is up to on a daily basis. (what is your favourite kind of tea?) ~ harriot_porter
If I were to implement such a device for my loyal minions, it could easily be infiltrated by that pesky Resistance.

Doctor Sloth, what do you think of these images of the 'Happiness Faerie' plaguing Neopia? There's even a plushie! ~ peroxwhy_gen
I know nothing about a "Happiness Faerie." I do know, however, that you should accept any and all candy, gifts, or other objects if said faerie were to offer them to you.

*bows to Sloth* In your opinion who are or where some of the other most evil villians in Neopia? *continues to bow due to the threat of being destroyed* ~ magicalhat1
I am the only evil villain in Neopia. The rest of those so called "villains" are nice compared to myself!

Also, for your eternal bowing to my greatness, I will spare you... for now.

How much does Sloth pwn over Darigan? ~ justin1276536
See the above answer.

Dr. Sloth, I know you're evil and all, but do you like muffins? Especially those evil ones. PS--I would love a Draik Trans Potion *evil face* ~ truenerdsbelonghere
Muffins are the root of all happiness, and I shall therefore never so much as touch one with a 10 foot pole. I also do not give to those who ask; only those who are vigilant.

why is your first name Frank and what kind of neopet are you if u are one? ~ nabaorisa
Why is your first name nabaorisa!? What were you thinking when you decided to call yourself that?

ZZZZZAAAAPPPPP! Well, now we won't have to worry about that one.

Why did you become evil? ~ MazzaRazza
I wouldn't use the word "evil"... I'm more "selective as to who I let live."

I'm going to graduate from evil mastermind school what kind of neopet or petpet should I use for a minion ~ lonniemil07
I hear Meepits are good for that. *cackle* (What a foolish Neopian... perhaps he'll be stupid enough to take my advice.)

h3y dr 5|07h c4n y0u r34d 1n |337? h0w b0u7 wr171n6 1n 17? C4n y0u pwn 7h3 pwn355 7h47 15 7h3 |337 |4n6u463? ~ Bonnieblue1862
You, along with every other Neoboarder who uses chatspeak, have been added to my list of potential victims for when my next death ray has been assembled.

Hello Dr. Sloth. If you were jellyneo, I'd say that you rock, but you're not. But you rock in your own way. Moving on to my question, would you allow me to assist you in your next evil plot to take over neopia? :P ~ tokyoking466
Sure, I'm always looking for people to test out my new death ray on.

Lord Darigan pWns you, no questions asked! ~ TheInfinityZero
You, along with that bony korbat, have been added to my list of future victims. Don't worry. It'll be awhile before I get through all of the Neoboarders. So, you have about 5 more seconds to think about your stupidity!

Dear Frankie *gets out vaporizer* First off, where do you get your vaporizers? I need a new one. This one only vaporizes in pink. Pink! I won't need to vaporize, my victims would laugh to death!Second, on your list of most loyal servants, what number is Dave? ~ marieseyah
I find that the best supplier of death ray parts is the little back alley shop in the galaxy next door. As for Dave, he is my "number 2." Assistant to the Regional Universe Manager, if you will.

Would you rather stick with being the leader of grundo's or be a leader of a different pet species? If so, which species? ~ wildamigo
All species. What kind of question is that?

Hey Dr. Sloth. *ducks from laser* Anyway, if you actually rule over Jellyneo, which of these staff will you choose as your right hand man? Terry, Dave, or Stephen? ~ yachtdepon
Sorry, but my death ray is accurate to the yoctometer. And it can catch moving targets based on your unique DNA signature. You can't really hide. NEXT QUESTION!

What's the mind control ray in the corner for? ~ The Muffin Man
Absolutely nothing. Just keep looking forward and ignore any strange sensations you may experience in your head.

How do you feel about the NC mall oh wise sloth? Is that where you got your cloak from? ~ daribari5
Have you foolish Neopians still not figured out that the NC Mall is of my own creation? I give TNT a 0.05% cut for them being generous enough to host it for me. All of the funds that you're supplying are going to a very good cause, indeed.

Who would win a cooking contest, you or Alton Brown? Being that hedeals with food science and you do all the transmogrification potions . . . ~ plumgrove
Of course I would win, why wouldn't I? *points Lab Ray at him*


Dear, Dr. Frank Turnip Head, *deep breath* Do you think that neopets will soon start haveing sooo many adds that, one day all the boards will be overflowed with n00bs and newbies, that all us half sain people will be forced to live on kreludor and eat your horribly cooked pie for the rest of our lives?!?! *gasp for air* ~ gostly_1

I'm sure you'll agree with me that this person was a well deserving victim. I spared him of what he thought was a "bad" fate.

Why are you evil? ~ Mychem12d3
Why do you ask stupid questions?

What exactly is this "Meteor Crash Site 725-XZ" and how is it used properly??? By the way love your site its the bomb. Long live Soth ~ Wulfgarblade
I sent a grundo scientist to the site a long time ago to analyze the scene and see if there were any traces of that valu-- *BBBBZZZZZAAAAAPPPPP!* I wasn't supposed to tell you that.

Why are meepits so evil? And why on Neopia do you want to enslave all neopets? Thanks! ~ redturtlegirl12345
Meepits are pitiful little creatures with poor leadership, a disorganized organization, and laughable goals.

Nothing but pink vermin.

Hi you rock Mr.Sloth ok so will you ever atack Neopia again and if so will the Meepits be atackng to? ~ Caseyh99
I am planning my next assault as we speak. As soon as my grundo physicists work out the finer details, you can expect the invasion to begin.

Hi Sloth!You rock!I'm using the avatar you gave me on your day!How do you feel about your plot being canceled for a Hannah plot? ~ krawky398
My sentiments were clearly displayed in the last comic of that pathetic usul's plot, but it was later censored out.


how come i can't repair my broken red mynci puppet? ~ jennifer12ej
Frivolous question. NEXT! Oh wait, there's no more! Finally! Now, back to planning my next Neopian domination scheme. Remind me never to waste precious planning time on an editorial again.