ACXI JN Staff Tourney - The Story
Tourney Results | The Story
Top Guessers | AC XI Coverage
As June dawns on Neopia once again, a certain electrical excitement fills the air. Yes, it's time for the Altador Cup, that yearly testament to goodwill and sportsmanship. Across the sprawling lawns below Jellyneo HQ, the JN staff can be found practicing for this year's tournament: passing balls, defending goals, preparing holsters of throat lozenges. Off in one corner of the field, however, a small group seems to be in deep discussion...
"I'm not saying we should physically bind Rylon's limbs, I just think... Y'know, he probably doesn't NEED both legs to play..."
"I dunno, doesn't he have a bit of a handicap already, always holding that cup of tea?"
"Does that tea seem suspect to anyone else? Not only is he never seen without it, but according to my notes he consistently performs well in the tournament."
"Huh, well what about Herdy? He's wicked good at yooyuball, actually won last year, and.... AND he's also British!"
"What are you saying? That since they're both British, they both drink performance-enhancing tea?"
"It's a conspiracy! A BRITISH conspiracy! Take their tea, throw it into the harbor!"
Ah, the sore losers club. These staffers aren't exactly happy with the results of last year's tournament, trying to claim that the winners had some kind of unfair advantage rather than admit their own shortcomings.
"If they hadn't been so quick on their feet, I would have made it to the podium!"
"Yooyuball is a game of skill and hard work. That being said... I'm not above giving the more experienced players some kind of handicap."
"What's this about a handicap?"
Seemingly out of nowhere, Dave appears among the group! Not only is he the manager of the entire Jellyneo staff, but he also both officiates the tournament and acts as referee.
"Dave! I, uh... That is..."
"Did she...? Oh yep, she fell asleep."
Drawn by the shouting and seeming teleportation of their referee, the rest of the staff makes their way over to the group.
"What's going on? Dave was just helping me with my catching, then vanished!"
"Was someone yelling about Noils? I definitely heard something about Noils."
"Really? I thought it was someone crying uncle..."
"Oh! We were just brainstorming ways to keep Rylon and Herdy from using their legs, because--"
Monica and Leaf are quick to subdue Skylar, before she can say anything too incriminating.
"We were talking about, uh..."
"Right, that. We were wondering if we should not use our legs, and instead... Play while riding unicycles...?"
Needless to say, nobody on the Jellyneo staff would fall for such an obvious--
"That's a fantastic idea!"
"At least three countries have national unicycle hockey leagues, and unicycling sports world championships have been happening every two years since 1984. Unicycle Yooyuball doesn't sound too far of a stretch..."
"Say, don't we have a bunch of old Altador Cup Collector's Unicycles in storage somewhere?"
"Weren't those recalled for safety reasons?"
"I'm sure it'll be fine. It's just a high-speed contact sport... and how hard could riding a unicycle be?"
"Besides, it's not like there's anyone being singled out for any reason during this competition."
"...Do you have a bad feeling about this?"
"Of course not. I could play Yooyuball while drinking a cuppa on a unicycle in my sleep!
And so begins the great Altador Cup XI Jellyneo Staff Tournament, with each participating member awkwardly clambering onto their unicycle. While every one of them is equally unsuited to playing atop such a vehicle, they're all brimming with confidence: this year, the playing field has been leveled, and it's anyone's game!
Monica: “And you called me crazy for keeping that coupon for unicycle lessons! Who's laughing now, Kait?!"
"Ha, who needs lessons! This'll be easy as pie! Wait, where are the training wheels...?"
"This is Meridell's year, I can feel it! No number of wheels will slow me down!"
"One wheel, one mission - uga ogu uhhg!
" (translation: I destroy you!)
"If a teenager in Coldwater, Michigan can break a world record by solving 80 puzzle cubes in under an hour while riding a unicycle, winning this tournament on a unicycle should be a breeze! Now I just need to find 80 puzzle cubes..."
*mumbles* "Just a liiiiitle bump with this icy unicycle will freeze my opponents,
and Terror Mountain will slide into glorious victory!"
"You mess with a Pirate, and you get a Mutant Yooyu in the face!"
"It's going to be a gadgadsbogen
when Mystery Island wins the Cup this year!"
"I'm glad I'm well rested and not two tired
... Let's do this!"
"Alala! It's a Greek battle cry; no puns from me, sorry!"
"Unicycles, is it? Excellent, I could use a good challenge..."
"No problem, I've been riding unicycles since I was six! No, really! Why is nobody listening to me?"
"I've played while riding a Uni, and I've played while riding a bicycle! I'm basically an expert on playing on a unicycle already!"
"Neopia may have three times Kreludor's gravity, but the just means you'll make a louder thud when I knock you to the ground!"
"Hmph. Being this high off the ground just gives me a better view to enjoy with my tea."
"Being made of pixels may have distracted me last year, but this time, I'm prepared! Wait, why is everyone on unicycles?"
"Now that I'm playing for the Lost Desert, I'm ready to send you all packing home to your mummy!"
"I shall have my Roo-venge!"
Let the games begin!